Friday, January 15, 2010

It's All Relative.


2, originally uploaded by tukseedoh.
The stories we hear. The mixed feelings we have. Our day to day thoughts. The people that grace our lives. The smiles from rays of sunshine or droplets of rain. These and many more: Are all relative. If not to ourselves, surely to others. Yet we miss it, or choose to forget. But if anything: it starts with words(whether out loud or in thoughts) that form mere sentences.

When strangers became lovers. And fathers became mothers. And your smile became my heart. And i became a part of you.

And then tears became a cleansing of Beautiful.

When letters came empty and tears drew droughts.

When talking turned into yelling and Husbands beat mothers.

When my silence turned into your promises.

When backpacks became heavy and you became a distance; When bags became heavy and you became a journey.

When sisters became just neighbors and boys became sensitive.

He followed her to Dubai, as she honeymooned in Sweden.

My mother broke my trust as he broke my dignity. My mother broke my heart after he broke my ribs. My mother silenced me as he lied to her.

She became me as I longed to be her.

Listen- I can no longer hold you.

In the still of the night- her voice brings death to me.

The day breathing became simple was the day flying became suffocating.

Will you remember me, as their giggling at you?

You forced her till she bled. Your pride gave you a broken heart. She smelt roses off your lips. Her cry moved mountains. And just the simple gentle touch of her neck, sent static trickles down your back.

She was cold, your words kept her warm.

When they didn't have phones and walking didn't seem so far.

When eating became a crime, and toilets bore love stories.

As he saw Faith and Desire on the swing of her hips.

>>>>>These thoughts may have nothing to do with each other. But in a way they're all relative to me. A quiet night in bed, tossing and turning to fall asleep before a long day's work, yet- all that happened was one random thought after the other circling in my head- so what do you do? But record these precious moments- for one day you may look back n be astonished.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Quote of the Day.!*


Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground..

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The things we miss; will never come back as they used to be.!~

You think its because i don't understand or don't want to understand- how your busy. well its not the fact that you've been busy and tired/. and cant u just be busy and tired.? its the fact that i missed you. i shouldn't have to-miss you. i don't want to miss you. you should be there enough for me to not ever have to do that. think whatever u want to think about me having issues- your probably right. but u don't know what its like to miss me or to have to miss me, without your choice. cuz i have always been readily available. i've always been there. always there when u needed me or wanted me around. never went further than a phone call away. So don't tell Me about best friends should understand best friends being busy. and i wont have to tell you about best friends should call best friends when they need someone to talk to.

Well, let the experiments begin.!* Apologies beforehand.!*

Friday, December 18, 2009

A Letter.!*

Dear Deqa,

"There are moments in life when you realize that you--are all you've got in this life. Moments like that suck. But in a way- their amazing." They teach you that if ever, you needed something- all you need to do is look at yourself, and pray to God. For example, you've been doubted as of late- doubted about what you are exactly capapable of; the type of person you are. But me and you both- we know- we know most things they will never know. And perhaps, no- most certainly- that is a good thing. the element of surprise- the shock on their faces. when you set out for something- you are unstoppable- but most know not. See you- you are a little different. In a good way of course. I just wanted to remind you of that. Since the people who were supposed to do that- are no longer available. Been meaning to tell you- you are doing amazing, with this whole thing. The working way too much- and still doing well in school. You told all of them your gonna do it. and in your mind- that was it. everything was figured out. Some said- don't you think it's too much. others- you can't do it. and still others- are you trying to fail out of school. but you stayed silent- and just smiled to yourself. you told me- watch- im gonna prove to them all wrong-. they don't know. they never really knew me. but you know- and thats why im telling you. so that when its all said and done- when its all over. we can celebrate together- and just show them without having to use any words. and so months later- you have showed them what you set out to do from the beginning. Hey Deqa, im quite proud of you. even if no one else says it to you. maybe their jealous and wish they had the strength you carry so delicately inside you. or maybe- its nothing to them. but its something to the both of us. i can't express to you- how much you have grown- and come to be a wonderful woman. i know sometimes its good to hear from people. to lift your spirits. but you dont need it- you dont need them. you've got me. and that's all you'll ever need. You know- you have no one to thank besides your hard work, yourself, your dedication, your lack of sleep ;-) and mostly because of God. Only HE has been there since the beginning of it all. Be happy, Deqa- you really do deserve it. And stop worrying over trivial matters. What next? Well, movin on up- from goal to goal of course. Doing better for yourself. Taking yourself places. Making someone out of yourself- to where even you and I both- will be wayy too overjoyed and proud. Remember all that matters- is if it makes sense to you.  And from there- its just you gently flowing with the tides of the world.

Monday, December 14, 2009

To write..


point of view, originally uploaded by penwren.

"We write poems about our experiences, we write to be the voice of others, we write about agony & helplessness, we write about the love we secretly hold in our hearts, we write to cry out our sorrows as it transforms in words, we write for the many random moments we live, we write to write ;however,our words are just the mere shadow of our experiences which words can never quite equal."

Hold me tight and don't let go !


"A million times i’ve needed you. A million times i’ve cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died."

I don't know how to feel better about this situation. I randomly remember something. and the tears start all over again. I don't know how to stop them. Basically I feel guilty. Like maybe it was my fault- for not being smart enough- that last moment. I shouldve known. I did know. Yet, it didnt cross my mind at the moment that I needed it. You learn things, and you learn. But then- those things that have made you smarter throughtout the years always escape you in your most needed time. I keep thinking why/? You were supposed to come back. You were supposed to be there as we got older. You were supposed to be a part of my life. You were too young. I cant find the right words for all these emotions. I smile- but those who know me- know its not an ordinary smile. Its not the smile that you were so used to. It's forced, and I don't know what to do about that. You were my guide. One of the few people that I trusted with myself enough, to share everything. every spec of thought that came across my mind. I randomly write to you now- like I used to. Yet, i wish you would respond. Tell me things so that it could all be easier. You made so many things so easy- for those around you. This is when I needed you most, and this is the only time that you won't be there. What am i to do? who am i supposed to seek out? Who can i trust like i trusted in you? Promise you won't escape my memories. Promise you won't ever leave my thoughts. Please- that is all i have to hold on to now.