InspirAtion.

Death comes and goes. I have known that my entire life. But its hard to accept it when it happens to someone you know, or even someone thats dear and close to your heart. I keep thinking that it's not possible, that it couldn't have happened. I mean i just spoke with you a few hours before you left. And i was awaiting to hear taht you had arrived safely. I keep thinking that maybe if I had told you to stay behind, if only i spoke a few words and convinced you not to leave, that everything would be fine now. I know that that definitely isnt true but i want to reason. I want to reason with anyone that will listen. I didn't believe her when she called. I thought someone was being cruel. How is it possible to lose you in such a short span of time. And then i keep thinking that you kept saying something was wrong, but you couldnt tell what it was. Do we all get signs like taht? but your not here, for me to ask. I am beyond devastated, because we had plans- plans for the near future. And then your gone just like that. i haven't gotten an ounce of sleep since I found out. I'm literally shaking with a cold that has overcome me; and i can't seem to find the warmth within me. It's not coming- I don't know if it ever will. All night i kept thinking my god? why? why? why? why did this happen to me? but then  istarted thinking what about your mom and your dear sister? what are they going through at the moment. for your mom to have lost her only son, for them to not have seen you for 2 weeks, for your sister to think it was her idea. this one is gonna be a hard one for any of us to grab. i keep blaming the people on the plane- like wouldnt someone be able to tell there is something wrong with you? that something was up? and the only thing i can think of is that you died peacefully. or else they wouldve seen the struggle in you. i dont know if that s a good sign, but i have been praying for you. im in a sort of haze- all that's coming out of my mouth is praying to god to forgive you your sins, to make your grave wide, to let you rest in peace, to take you to paradise.

Faisal, i can't tell you how much you meant to me. And even if you were still here- I still wouldn't have known were to start. You were too kind and generous. I literally haven't met anyone like you. I guess the only regret I have is not saying enough to you. Not taking your advice when I should've; not telling you how things were and how much you meant to me. Inshallah one day soon we will meet again in Janat. And i will continue to keep praying that Allah forgives you, and gives you paradise. Goodbye dear friend.