Quote of the Day.!*

Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground..

Emo-ness!

The things we miss; will never come back as they used to be.!~

*how i miss you*, originally uploaded by kamadiva* [BACK AGAIN!*].

You think its because i don't understand or don't want to understand- how your busy. well its not the fact that you've been busy and tired/. and cant u just be busy and tired.? its the fact that i missed you. i shouldn't have to-miss you. i don't want to miss you. you should be there enough for me to not ever have to do that. think whatever u want to think about me having issues- your probably right. but u don't know what its like to miss me or to have to miss me, without your choice. cuz i have always been readily available. i've always been there. always there when u needed me or wanted me around. never went further than a phone call away. So don't tell Me about best friends should understand best friends being busy. and i wont have to tell you about best friends should call best friends when they need someone to talk to.

Well, let the experiments begin.!* Apologies beforehand.!*

A Letter.!*

Dear Deqa,

"There are moments in life when you realize that you--are all you've got in this life. Moments like that suck. But in a way- their amazing." They teach you that if ever, you needed something- all you need to do is look at yourself, and pray to God. For example, you've been doubted as of late- doubted about what you are exactly capapable of; the type of person you are. But me and you both- we know- we know most things they will never know. And perhaps, no- most certainly- that is a good thing. the element of surprise- the shock on their faces. when you set out for something- you are unstoppable- but most know not. See you- you are a little different. In a good way of course. I just wanted to remind you of that. Since the people who were supposed to do that- are no longer available. Been meaning to tell you- you are doing amazing, with this whole thing. The working way too much- and still doing well in school. You told all of them your gonna do it. and in your mind- that was it. everything was figured out. Some said- don't you think it's too much. others- you can't do it. and still others- are you trying to fail out of school. but you stayed silent- and just smiled to yourself. you told me- watch- im gonna prove to them all wrong-. they don't know. they never really knew me. but you know- and thats why im telling you. so that when its all said and done- when its all over. we can celebrate together- and just show them without having to use any words. and so months later- you have showed them what you set out to do from the beginning. Hey Deqa, im quite proud of you. even if no one else says it to you. maybe their jealous and wish they had the strength you carry so delicately inside you. or maybe- its nothing to them. but its something to the both of us. i can't express to you- how much you have grown- and come to be a wonderful woman. i know sometimes its good to hear from people. to lift your spirits. but you dont need it- you dont need them. you've got me. and that's all you'll ever need. You know- you have no one to thank besides your hard work, yourself, your dedication, your lack of sleep ;-) and mostly because of God. Only HE has been there since the beginning of it all. Be happy, Deqa- you really do deserve it. And stop worrying over trivial matters. What next? Well, movin on up- from goal to goal of course. Doing better for yourself. Taking yourself places. Making someone out of yourself- to where even you and I both- will be wayy too overjoyed and proud. Remember all that matters- is if it makes sense to you.  And from there- its just you gently flowing with the tides of the world.

To write..

point of view, originally uploaded by penwren.

"We write poems about our experiences, we write to be the voice of others, we write about agony & helplessness, we write about the love we secretly hold in our hearts, we write to cry out our sorrows as it transforms in words, we write for the many random moments we live, we write to write ;however,our words are just the mere shadow of our experiences which words can never quite equal."

Hold me tight and don't let go !

Hold me tight and don't let go !, originally uploaded by | Syka |.

"A million times i’ve needed you. A million times i’ve cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died."

I don't know how to feel better about this situation. I randomly remember something. and the tears start all over again. I don't know how to stop them. Basically I feel guilty. Like maybe it was my fault- for not being smart enough- that last moment. I shouldve known. I did know. Yet, it didnt cross my mind at the moment that I needed it. You learn things, and you learn. But then- those things that have made you smarter throughtout the years always escape you in your most needed time. I keep thinking why/? You were supposed to come back. You were supposed to be there as we got older. You were supposed to be a part of my life. You were too young. I cant find the right words for all these emotions. I smile- but those who know me- know its not an ordinary smile. Its not the smile that you were so used to. It's forced, and I don't know what to do about that. You were my guide. One of the few people that I trusted with myself enough, to share everything. every spec of thought that came across my mind. I randomly write to you now- like I used to. Yet, i wish you would respond. Tell me things so that it could all be easier. You made so many things so easy- for those around you. This is when I needed you most, and this is the only time that you won't be there. What am i to do? who am i supposed to seek out? Who can i trust like i trusted in you? Promise you won't escape my memories. Promise you won't ever leave my thoughts. Please- that is all i have to hold on to now.

Random Drive

IMG_6833, originally uploaded by Omar.Saeed.

Last time I took a random drive throughout Arizona was in the summer. Decided- hey why not go somewhere today? Well specifically this one lake. Just wanted to see what it looked like during sunset. yES, i have an obsession with sunsets and lakes. Well, lets just say that we never made it to the lake. I realized two things that night- First- sometimes its okay to look up directions instead of just driving around when you have a goal in mind. The other thing i realized- the best of friends are those that u can drive with in complete silence and at the end of the ride- feel like it was the best ride ever- and sad to go your seperate ways. that's how it was. Me, Cumar, the cool night breeze, and the radio at times. Conversation here and there. but mostly silence. i think it was partly because our time together was limited and we were just enjoying each other's company. but none the less- it was the MOST perfect ride ever. no way to describe the feelings. Although we didn't get to the lake- we did visit this small town- and ate at this restaurant- Big Earls. food- not so great. but conversation with best friend- one of the best to this day. Overall, very memorable short adventure- and i look forward to another one soon. I wish I had had more time though- so that i couldve taken more little interesting escapades with my dear friend. Inshallah, one day soon.! Just missing his company.

Hope.!*

Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future.

Sunsets

Just for you Fadumoy.!*

Kids With Cameras

No explanation needed. I'm jealous of these kids; and their ability to see things in a different way. Their doing something completely amazing- The mentors. Check out these amazing kids : Here

W.a.t.e.r - It's that simple.!

I saw a video about Charity: Water today, and it lifted my spirits. I guess all Americans after all, aren't complete ignorants. What this guy started is amazing.! And I've always wanted to do something like this, but never knew where to start or even how. But I guess, every idea can be accomplished, you just have to want it really bad. So here is to my future. I DO PLAN ON MAKING A DIFFERENCE in someone's life soon, very soon Inshallah.! I think I'm doing the right thing with my life, no matter what everyone else says. I finally feel like, this is what I should be doing. Here is my life's plan. Something like this project--- Charity: Water

Secrets.!

Great Idea, i think. Randomly Sharing a secret. This video made my day and touched my heart. Why didn't i THINK of this idea. And on top of it, what PostSecret stands for is amazing. Trying to empower people who are depressed, and trying to prevent Suicide. Check out the video here: PostSecret

B&W on the Nikon

My lovely friend figured out how to change the settings on my Nikon to Black&White---and I'm eternally grateful. Now the photographs don't look lame to say the least. I think I'm getting better at this   ;-) and yes, I have finally picked up my camera once again. INSPIRATION Re - instilled.

they say writing and time cures all heartbreak. i don't know about time- because i cant really grasp it. its not mine, nor will i ever be able to claim it. but i have my thoughts. thats all i have been given at the end of the day. i keep thinking. keep thinking too much perhaps. i don't know if i just made a mistake, or if all along this was meant to be. that it was something bound to catch up to me eventually. they say i had a choice and it was my decision after all. probably right. actually yes- they are right. but how wise am i? when i can't even keep on one decision. i hope you know this is the biggest risk i have ever taken in my life. i keep sitting here wondering if you know exactly how much u mean to me. let's take out the things i have said, the things you have heard, the things you feel, what you think i feel. i wish i can just open up my heart- let your eyes see all of it. no words needed to be spoken. one soul seeing the heart of another. maybe then everything in this world would be on a different plane. different perspective. i want to have a set of binoculars- to be able to see u at all times. to see your every move. to see how your doing. how your feeling. would it be better for my heart and mind to be at ease, if i could just see- deep inside you. i swear i wouldn't need to hear any words coming out of your mouth. i would just be able to see for myself, to understand beyond imagination. i hung up the phone. waited for you to call back. talk me out of the stupid nonsense idea that i just had. you never called. then my hurt became like a brick. i couldn't breathe. i couldn't move. i haven't decided if its because you really want me to get better, to feel better or if all along i made myself see something that was never there. if i created a world all on my own accord. you saying nothing- i still cant get over. maybe i should've done this face to face. maybe then i could feel your emotions at that specific moment. i need to cure myself of this love i have for you. i have been down that road before, and it left me with nothing but brokenness inside of me. i can't do that to myself again. i'm going about my normal routine, and it hasn't even been two days. but i want to give up my stubbornness. i want to make up excuses for you like i always did in my head. i want to have a different last conversation with you. why haven't you called? why are you letting me go through with this? i keep thinking if you cared as much as i did about you- then you would've done what i would do. you wouldn't have hung up the phone/ you would've talked some sense into me. i don't know what to think. what am i supposed to think? is this really how much i mean to you. why can't you for once put your pride aside and put me first. it's simple. quite simple. but yet i watch my self everyday, my every move. thinking how much longer.? do i have to wait. and then i say 21 days is all it takes to start a new habit, to break a cycle. i have literally convinced myself and those around me. but i haven't convinced my heart. your probably thinking well, if you cared about someone you wouldn't leave them no matter what. what would it take to show you my love for you? i was thinking yesterday, what if when i'm over you, what if when i'm ready to come back- you won't be there. what if's/ eh? always something or rather. but you know what would be better than all this me talking like a crazy person. if you were actually there for me to have a real conversation with. but you won't allow yourself to show any emotions. you won't allow me to get that close to you, after this long. after i have already shown you everything you need to see- for you to know. i'm never one to hurt you. i'm not like those women that came before me. but i have a feeling you already know. you just won't accept it- cuz i understand. it's always easier to never let yourself feel, than to feel and never be able to bring those feelings back once the person is gone. i don't know what to say or do to show you. can you just tell me. can you just pick up the phone and just say hey. hello. i'm dying to hear. dying to hear everything is gonna be okay, and just know your smile on the other end. what i would do to hear that everything is gonna be okay. i don't feel that anymore. i am starting to think that okay- is everyone's way of saying, hey look please don't make me say it/it's gonna be okay, okay? how sure. mom's says- i'm sorry. i know he was your only best friend. i know he got you through the days. if she can see, why can't you? maybe i'm overreacting. i'm over evaluating as usual. just tell me that- and i'll believe it. i always believed in you. maybe i'm not good enough. please just calm my heart. hold on to me, and never let me go.

Death comes and goes. I have known that my entire life. But its hard to accept it when it happens to someone you know, or even someone thats dear and close to your heart. I keep thinking that it's not possible, that it couldn't have happened. I mean i just spoke with you a few hours before you left. And i was awaiting to hear taht you had arrived safely. I keep thinking that maybe if I had told you to stay behind, if only i spoke a few words and convinced you not to leave, that everything would be fine now. I know that that definitely isnt true but i want to reason. I want to reason with anyone that will listen. I didn't believe her when she called. I thought someone was being cruel. How is it possible to lose you in such a short span of time. And then i keep thinking that you kept saying something was wrong, but you couldnt tell what it was. Do we all get signs like taht? but your not here, for me to ask. I am beyond devastated, because we had plans- plans for the near future. And then your gone just like that. i haven't gotten an ounce of sleep since I found out. I'm literally shaking with a cold that has overcome me; and i can't seem to find the warmth within me. It's not coming- I don't know if it ever will. All night i kept thinking my god? why? why? why? why did this happen to me? but then  istarted thinking what about your mom and your dear sister? what are they going through at the moment. for your mom to have lost her only son, for them to not have seen you for 2 weeks, for your sister to think it was her idea. this one is gonna be a hard one for any of us to grab. i keep blaming the people on the plane- like wouldnt someone be able to tell there is something wrong with you? that something was up? and the only thing i can think of is that you died peacefully. or else they wouldve seen the struggle in you. i dont know if that s a good sign, but i have been praying for you. im in a sort of haze- all that's coming out of my mouth is praying to god to forgive you your sins, to make your grave wide, to let you rest in peace, to take you to paradise.

Faisal, i can't tell you how much you meant to me. And even if you were still here- I still wouldn't have known were to start. You were too kind and generous. I literally haven't met anyone like you. I guess the only regret I have is not saying enough to you. Not taking your advice when I should've; not telling you how things were and how much you meant to me. Inshallah one day soon we will meet again in Janat. And i will continue to keep praying that Allah forgives you, and gives you paradise. Goodbye dear friend.

I haven't been taking any pictures lately. I feel as though my soul is empty.

Inshallah soon. I'll hold you in my hands again. Inshallah soon. I'll look at the world through your lens.

Art in a new form

this entirely blew me away- the first time i saw it. so many emotions. so talented indeed- to be able to show romance, and war all in a few minutes.

Poetry that I El. O. v.

Lovely somali poetry by Maxamed Xaashi Dhamac: She

Desert Flower

The inspiring story of a brave Somali Woman: Desert Flower

can't wait to watch this.

That in fact they were color blind in the worst way. That they could not see the beauty I grew up seeing. That you have to have loved a place to see its true colors.

K'naan to me is more than just an artist, or entertainer. With becoming well known- comes responsibilities- responsibilities of carrying the burden of your people- for speaking out for them- giving a voice to those who can no longer be heard. And I believe that he is doing that everyday in his quiet presence.

Here is a piece K'naan wrote for Italian Vogue, entitled "True Colors"

I found myself thinking of you today,
and then sheepishly smiled to myself.
And at that precise moment,
I would've liked to
get a glimpse of your thoughts.
Do you miss me now?
Like i've been meaning
to tell you- i have.
Please come.
i've been cold for a while.
Come lay next to me
and keep me warm,
with your smile.

Home is where the Heart IS.!

They say
home is where the heart is,
But what if my home is with he,
and He
is getting ready to leave.

How can i get myself to tell him,
that with him-goes my safe haven.
With him goes my home that I
have struggled to build.

How do i tell him,
when he deosnt even know.
He doesnt know the power he has over me,
Doesnt know how someone can build a life surrounding him.

I and Love and You.